I joined a 30 day prayer challenge for praying for your homeschool. The first day’s prayer is about commitment.
Ah, this word.
A few years ago, when Chris and I were doing a little marriage tune-up counseling, we took an exhaustive survey that was going to give our counselor an idea about where we stood in terms of thoughts and what was behind our communication with each other. When we got together to go over the results, she told us that she had never seen survey results indicating such strong levels of commitment from both husband and wife. She said, “the good news is that you are both in this for the long haul,” which was not actually news to either of us – our marriage was not in danger and we didn’t doubt one another’s love or commitment. But then she said, “it’s good you’re here because I think I can give you some tools to help you communicate better and you will both be a lot happier.” And she did. We learned some simple, helpful communication skills and relationship skills that enabled us to “fight better” and understand each other more easily. And now we are happier, which is really good since we’re so committed to each other.
I hope to apply this to homeschool as well. I am deeply committed. We have decided that public school is just not an option for our family. In Spain, we will make decisions differently and we are thankful for a Christian school option. But as long as we are stateside, homeschooling it is.
Even though I am so anxious about it. Even though I always feel disqualified, anxious and stupid; even though I feel like I am going to hand my kids baggage in place of skills. I want them to have the education I feel I missed out on, but how can I give them what I don’t have?
My thoughts make this bigger than it actually is. The enemy lies to me, hoping to discourage me and render me useless.
Enter day one of this prayer challenge: Lord, please give me the courage to fully hand over the reins of homeschooling Susanna and Austin this year. I pray for bolder faith to trust that Your plan is far greater than mine.